My friend turned brother, Kunle Adeniyi marks yet another birthday today. It is not a landmark birthday and but I can no longer withstand the temptation of writing about this perfect gentleman. If I decide to let it slide and save it for another day, I might not come round to write this piece for which the inspiration presently abounds. So, I have quickly swathed away the spirit of procrastination and took up my ready pen.

As I grow older, personal experience has come to make me realize that, in the symphony of life, there are friendships that resonate beyond the ordinary, weaving a melody that transcends the years. Today, as the calendar marks another chapter in the life of Adekunle Adeniyi, a cherished friend and brother, I find myself compelled to articulate the profound nature of our bond—one that has not only weathered the seasons but has evolved into a brotherhood that defies conventional labels.

Navigating the labyrinths of memories we’ve created and one that has survived through the ups and downs of life, it is not surprising why our bond remains a thing of exceptional quality. From the laughter that echoed through the corridors of our shared adventures to the quiet understanding that spoke volumes in moments of quiet pain, each experience has become a mosaic, illustrating the depth and resilience of our friendship.

Friendships, much like fine wine, acquire richness and validity with time. I first met Kunle when I needed to fix a problem on the MTN line of my late Boss, Professor Babatunde Osotimehin (God bless his memory, as he continues to rest in peace) and my brother, Abiola took me to meet a former school mate of his who was then ‘serving’ (our way of describing those on the National Youth Service Corps). It turned out to be Kunle, and he promptly willingly and enthusiastically fixed the problem. Abiola was to later mention that he is a lawyer, a smart one who’d made a 2:1 (Second Class Upper Degree) in university, and was currently in Law School.

His demeanour and industriousness struck me, such that when Prof requested that I find a young person to join our team in the Executive Office of NACA (National Agency for the Control of AIDS) where he was then the Executive Chair, I didn’t have to look too far. And that was how the ties that binds us today began. Hence, what commenced then as a simple camaraderie has blossomed into a relationship that embodies the essence of familial ties. I rave about this friendship and brotherhood bond not merely for the moments of laughter and joys it has produced, but the transformative anchor of support it has provided in the tumultuous points of life’s journeys.

Kunle’s friendship is special because it is energising and complementary. I found in him a kindred spirit who shared the same level of commitment in the pursuit of excellence. Our energies align because our understanding of life and the meaning we attach to friendship remains profound. We have mostly grown together professionally, fell in love with the work that we do and share the same enthusiasm in making the world a better place. It sometimes feels like the harmonisation of two destinies, hemmed from the same cloth.

Birthdays are not merely milestones; they are reflective pauses in the journey, offering an opportunity to acknowledge growth, celebrate achievements, and anticipate the adventures that lie ahead. As my Friend and brother stands on the threshold of another year, I wish for him a path adorned with joy, success, and the realization of aspirations—a journey where each day unfolds as a canvas for new experiences and every challenge serves as a stepping stone to personal growth.

In a world that crowds and distracts us too easily these days, taking a moment to honor the people who shape our narrative is of absolute necessity for me. More so, for a deserving person. It is an attestation of a bond that has withstood storms, celebrated triumphs while staying unshakeable.

So, here’s to you, my brother from another mother. May this birthday not only mark the passage of time but also symbolize the flourishing of dreams and the fortification of our bond. As the candles flicker and the festivities unfold, let us raise a heartfelt toast to the extraordinary journey we’ve shared and the multitude of adventures that await us.

In the grand tapestry of life, some friendships are not just threads but vibrant strokes of color that define the beauty of the whole canvas. Today, as we commemorate the birth of a dear friend, we also celebrate the richness that true friendship brings—an enrichment that transforms acquaintances into allies, and friends into family. Here’s to the journey we’ve had, the challenges we’ve conquered, and the countless chapters that await our insatiable pen!

To those who know Kunle, and have taken the pains to read this piece this far, expecting that I will pop the ‘obvious’ outstanding question, I am sorry that I have to disappoint you, because we already know and pray that before his next birthday, we will sing the song of Dr. SID, featuring D’Banj ‘pop up, pop up, pop up something…….we dey pop champagne’

Happy Birthday to my brother of life !!!

Niyi Ojuolape is the UNFPA Country Representative in Somalia.

Cherished remembrance of my Sister. Her name is Funmilayo Sanusi, nee Adeniran. She would have been 58 today, 30th October.

October, for me, carries profound significance, extending beyond personal milestones. It stands as a month of remembrance, where the threads of joy and sorrow are intricately woven. It’s the month that cradles not only my own birthday but also that of my late mother and dearest sister, Olufunmilayo. These two remarkable women, though sometimes at odds, etched indelible imprints on my soul.

The objective of this piece is to pay a more than deserved tribute to a remarkable woman whose life was a living embodiment of virtue. Funmilayo Sanusi, known for her roles as a sister, daughter, mother, aunt, and mentor, transcended these titles to become a guiding light in the lives of those fortunate enough to know her.

The year 2007 marked a significant turning point when we lost my dearest Sister, in the month of October. She left behind a loving husband and three beautiful daughters. Over the years, these daughters have grown into accomplished young women, with two of them finding love and beginning their own journeys in matrimony.

As a younger sibling, I carry vivid memories of my Sister’s unwavering mentorship and deep affection. She was not only my sister but also a source of wisdom and support during the tumultuous years of youth. Her patience and tolerance for my youthful exuberance were boundless.

The chapter of her life that began with marriage might have seemed like a transition to an unknown world, but in her husband, we discovered a true gentleman, a man of unparalleled humility and grace. It will not be an exaggeration to testify of Brother Fatai as the most gentlemanly homo sapien I know. This gentleness and kindness have remained steadfast even in the face of her untimely departure.

October!!! Because it is the month of my birthday, no one ever realizes the struggle I go through during this period. October 30 is my late Mother’s birthday and also that of my darling Sister. October is also the month in which the cold hands of death took her away. They share birthdays. I remember with profound amusement and fondness, how these very lovely and loving beings used to disagree on a lot of things. Both of them were the prime Women I first got to know in life and the fact that they are no more is a burden I carry albeit very calmly and with strength every month of October. It is also the month of birth of my Wife, my first Son, my Mother in law and my Sister in law also. And, that is not all, my eldest Sister (Sister Funke) was also born in October. Sister Funke’s is another completely different story which I will take time to etch on paper soon. Between her and my Mum, I am not sure I have seen any other women with such strength of character, gait, poise, confidence and courage. They have the famed characteristic ‘never say die’ spirit of October borns. No wonder!!!

With this convergence of family celebrations and reflections, October is indeed a month where emotions ebb and flow. So, if there is anything called the month of mixed feelings, this is it for me. I find solace in the enduring memories of these incredible women.

In honoring Sister Funmi and all the October-born women who have touched my life, I acknowledge and recognize the divine order in which their paths intersected with mine, or rather became the predicate of mine. The scripture reminds us to “rejoice always,” and it is with this sentiment that I choose to celebrate their lives, their love, and the profound impact they have left on my heart.

In my role as the Country Representative of UNFPA in Somalia, I find a profound intersection between my work and the legacy of these remarkable women. Just as my dear sister Funmilayo and the strong October-born women in my life exemplified unwavering strength, I am dedicated to advocating for the rights and welfare of women and girls worldwide. Their enduring spirits fuel my commitment to creating a world where every woman and girl can thrive, just as they did in their own unique ways. The work I do at UNFPA is not just a vocation; it is a tribute to their memory, a dedication to continue the legacy of strength and resilience they embodied.

Shalom! May their memories be a blessing that endures for all time.

Niyi Ojuolape is the Country Representative of UNFPA in Somalia. He carries within him the legacy of these remarkable women, whose spirits continue to inspire him.

Reflections

One week ago, the world celebrated fathers on Fathers’ Day commemoration on June 18. The event rightly applauds fathers for their sacrifices for their families and the burden they bear. In recognition of the event, I had initially written a press release, since the occasion is one that my organization, the UNFPA, dotes, given the high premium that we place on issues that affect the family, and the interplay of roles and rights of individuals therein. And as a corollary, is my belief in the fostering of responsible fatherhood as a path and a massive boost to advancing the issues we care about, such as sexual and reproductive rights, gender equality and women empowerment, as well as ending gender-based violence. On second thought, I considered that I could discuss the vitality of fatherhood as it concerns the duty owed to the girl child. 

Looking back in soul-searching reminiscence I realize that I have been lucky to enjoy the friendship and mentorship of exemplary fathers whose relationship with their daughters (children) I admired and still do admire deeply. Occupying a ringside seat in their lives and watching at close quarters the way and passion with which they related to their daughters, supporting them fiercely left an indelible mark on my mind and continues to resonate with me till this day.

Professor Babatunde Osotimehin  

Working with Professor Babatunde Osotimehin of blessed memory in the capacity that I did, allowed me to gain a peek into his professional and personal life. While passion for education for girls defined aspects of his work, it was at home and in the relationship he had with his daughters (he had four girls and a boy) that I came to experience the impact of a father’s support on the confidence, well-being, and life course of the girl child. In the most important of meetings, be it with the Executive Board, or even the UN Secretary General, Prof’s connection with them was such that he would pick his daughters’ call and excuse himself even just to say ‘Je ki n pe e pada lai pe’ (let me call you back shortly). From the stories he told me about their younger years and from what I saw personally, it didn’t take any time for me to realize that with Prof, his daughters can do no wrong. As a matter of fact, they are forgiven in advance for whatever lines they cross. It is apposite to mention that the Daughters also responded with love and deep affection. That, for me is quintessential fatherhood. 

Professor Femi Odekunle

Another father figure, Prof. Femi Odekunle, also of blessed memory, represents one of the finest examples of fathering girls. Being in the inner corridors of his life gave me the privilege of witnessing his uncommon passion for his girls, two of which were his last borns. His eldest daughter could make him do anything, and such was the emotional connection between them that you needed not go far to understand why she was named after his mother; Ojuolape, which also happens to be my last name, and which was one of the earliest points of his endearment to me, as he took me under his arms as a son.  It was satisfying to watch him dote his daughters in the most gracious and passionate manner.

Professor Layi Erinosho

To complete this academic trilogy of those by virtue of whom I have since earned the sobriquet of ‘Associate Professor’ is Prof. Layi Erinosho, who is still very much with us, and by the grace of God is still going strong. A father of four, of which three are girls, Prof. Erinosho’s passion for the cause of women and girls extends beyond his home sphere, and is represented significantly in his research interest. Some of his best works in his discipline of Sociology are in-depth scholarly academic works and research that deals with Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) and inheritance rights for women in Africa. And then there is my father, a jurist for whom the equality of genders is an unassailable fact, and a human right issue.

The Impact

The above encounters with these mentors enriched my approach to what needs to be done for women and girls, whether as a father at home or at my place of work. Appreciating the urgency of some of the actions that need to be taken, the UNFPA Country Office in Ghana, under my leadership, instituted the Youth Leaders (YoLe) Fellowship—a youth internship designed to attract young graduates from Ghanaian tertiary institutions. Setting up the fellowship was the first step; ensuring that most recipients were young women was even more critical. Thus, among the inaugural fellows, 70% of them were young women. In the second year, 14 out of 21 were young women. In the third year, young women made up 18 out of 26 YoLe fellows. In effect, not only were there more young women than men, we progressively increased the numbers, having seen the demonstrated impact.

Understandably, the question here would be whether such a course of action does not disadvantage young men and boys. The answer is that they are too disproportionately favoured in different facets of human endeavour for this disadvantage to arise. Maintaining a level playing ground when one team is behind will not provide the solution we need for a more equitable world. Yet, part of the solution could be simpler and commence with fathers becoming intentional about delivering the needed psychosocial and material support women and girls need to thrive. I have often imagined that while UNFPA created an opportunity to better the lives of young people through the YoLe fellowship, the preparation to meet that opportunity involved fathers who valued the educational pursuits of their daughters.

 Making way for the Girl Child

Therefore, I suggest that fathers go out of their way to make space for the girl child to become as empowered as the boy child, not only within their homes but also to instruct their friends and neighbours to do the same. The cumulative effects of every father pulling their weight from all corners of society is potentially enormous. Protecting and supporting our young women and girls is in our enlightened self-interest. The ones we empower today will grow up to become empowered women who will understand and address the needs of women and girls more deeply in the future. For example, the outstanding leadership of Natalia Kanem as head of the UNFPA is persuasive proof. As a feminist and women’s rights advocate, she has utilized her empowered position to design numerous uplifting programmes for young women and girls. She continues to drive and champion the most creative methods to meet the unmet needs of women and girls and delivering on them with uncommon urgency. The privilege of having a Boss and mentor in her mould and understanding her ideas on empowering women and girls enriches my commitment to the cause. It allows me to see how much more there is to do for young women and girls, even as measured progress has been achieved. I, therefore urge all fathers to take up this challenge with us.